#GossipGirl Final Season Premiere “Gone Maybe Gone” Recap: Upper East Siders! This Fall is Our Last Time to Say XOXO

Five years of scheming, backstabbing, friendship, romance, betrayal, blasts, headbands, colored tights has lead us to this: the final season of Gossip Girl. Well … Welcome back Upper East Siders!!! This fall could be our last time to say XOXO 😉

The CW hit soap kicked off its sixth and final season last night with “Gone Maybe Gone,” which brought our core cast together for one mission: Find Serena (Blake Lively), who went AWOL in the season five finale after burning bridges with BFF Blair (Leighton Meester) and ex-BF Dan (Penn Badgley).

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WHAT HAPPENED?

Where Has Serena Been?: Dating 7th Heaven‘s Matt Camden (Barry Watson), that’s where! OK, so his name is really Steven and he’s a wealthy businessman, not a reverend’s son, but S is in a serious relationship with him. Too bad he thinks her name is Sabrina and has no idea who she really is.

Of course, the gang crashes the party Steven and Serena were throwing, which was a wedding for their gay friends. (No, Serena did not pull a Jemma on Girls, people!), and she’s forced to come clean. Steven takes it all in stride and is totally cool with the fact that she lied to him during their entire relationship thus far. (True love, y’all!) 😉

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Blair says she regrets every mean thing she said to Serena and says they are “stuck with each other.” S, however, has a different view of their friendship: She doesn’t want to be stuck with Blair, she wants a fresh start. Yes, she breaks up with Blair, who is pretty bitter, telling her ex-BFF, “I get Manhattan. Have a nice life.”

#Chair Forever: Though we get a quick glimpse at Chuck and Blair’s steamy hookup in Monte Carlo, where he tells her they have all the time in the world, it turns out the fan-favorite aren’t back together. Officially. “We made a pact. We have things we need to do on our own, but when we are both in that next place, we will be together for good,” Blair explains to a perplexed Dan, who tells her she doesn’t have an epic love with Chuck; they just have “excuses.”

In the back of the infamous limo, Blair confronts Chuck with Dan’s view of their relationship being based on excuses. “I love you with all my heart and that is the reason I cannot take the chance of messing this up,” he explains. “When we’re together, you’re all I think about. It’s the boy that blames the girl, not the man. And that’s what I want to be with you.” He then pulls on her necklace, which reveals the engagement ring! “It won’t be much longer, I promise,” he tells her.

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So what does Chuck have to deal with before he can be with Blair? For starters, he has to get his empire back from his father Bart (Robert John Burke), so he contacts Amira (Andrea Gabriel), a businesswoman from Dubai who was involved in some off-the-record deal with the elder Bass.

Roommates with Benefits: WTF Moment No. 1: Rufus (Matthew Settle) is letting Ivy (Kaylee Defer) live with him, EEEWWW!!! WTF Moment No. 2: Ivy hooks up with Rufus as the first step in destroying Lily (Kelly Rutherford). WTF Moment No. 3: Dan walking in on his father and Ivy cuddling…naked. Eeeeeeewwwwww! (GG writers, you owe us dinner since we lost ours after that image.)

Nate Does Stuff: While he was this close to finding out Gossip Girl’s identity, Nate gives up the info in exchange for S’ whereabouts. Oh, and he’s hooking up with Sage (Sofia Black-D’Elia), a college student who interviews him for her journalism class.

Lonely Boy’s Sequel: Dan writing another tell-all book, but this time, he’s not holding back. He’s using real names and Georgina (Michelle Tratchenberg) is his partner-in-crime. We won’t lie, their snarky banter was ridiculously entertaining and we cackled at the reference to Dan raising Georgina’s baby Milo. Memories!

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SOME THOUGHTS:

– Dan is the absolute worst. He is the king of condescension and the emperor of self-righteousness. He stands in judgement of everyone in the world he never really had to be a part of, while he’s done nothing but try to gain acceptance and entrance into that world from day one. It’s like yelling at a bee for stinging you after you’ve stuck your hand in its nest to get honey. He has no one to blame but himself.

– There are a lot of reasons why I’m glad Blair chose Chuck, not the least of which is the fact that they have more sexual chemistry when they’re standing three feet apart then she and Dan had while they were between the sheets, but because she deserves to be with someone who isn’t going to be constantly judging her the sin of being rich.

That’s all Upper East Siders! So, nine episodes left and a lot of stuff to wrap up. Is anyone taking bets, making predictions? Hit the comments below, okay! 😉

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